. oh hi diaryland .

Life's good blah blah etc. But I just realized something: I can get along with men just fine. Famously in fact. -- That is, as long as I can pretend their inadequate skills of relating to another human being in any emotional capacity DON'T make my skin crawl. (It makes my skin crawl.)

Men make me tired. I no longer feel that explaining or trying to teach them makes any difference. I'm really just better not bothering with that game, even if it means living without sex. It's easy, I know the rules, I've done it, and it's not for me. I want more than that. I want to relate on a deeper level. I want romance and passion and fun and equal respect.

Yeah it's gonna be hard though with no sex. I mean, I already settle for sex with men I don't like as humans, who aren't particularly swell with women except that their eyes (their dicks) glisten in such a way that make me smile just enough to hope there will be something more, respect at the least, or at least i'll get off. ...if they don't orgasm too fast, in which case WHAT IS THE POINT EVEN when they don't know how to love? Seriously why bother.

Today, after watching a thing about dating apps, I started crying, at the amount of shit women absorb from men, but mostly how the world has become as a whole. It's sad for everyone, that they see humans as disposable, and onto the next. It really just makes me want out of the game entirely, like I want sex a lot but not THAT bad..

I feel like when I put myself in the presence of a male for a length of time its a form of abusing myself. You guys, I really just prefer women these days. Like for real though. They have more depth and intuition and have more ethical souls and are just more interesting to me.. Now if I could just get one to love me. <3