I felt much less bitter about everything as the day progressed.
I did a really good job today of nurturing my female friendships and reaching out to some wonderful women I haven't seen in a long while. I'm proud of myself for making an effort to initiate contact rather than passively waiting.
I'm grateful for the people I know. I fell out of the habit of organizing social events in recent years, and I probably needed to be alone awhile, but it's good to have a support network, for all of us. I think dropping out of the social sphere was actually a little detrimental to some of my friends. I only saw my own pain and didn't think about how maybe they needed me. I wasn't present enough. Even when I was present I was escaping in alcohol or weed because everything hurt so damn much. I am so grateful I asked for help, even though it was super irritating to accept at first. I am so grateful for everything.
Maybe I can be a better friend now, because I went through some humbling times but I learned a lot and I've lifted myself up. I feel like I have more to give now. I know what to say to my younger friends when their exes treat them shitty or when they grieve or feel anxious. I can validate their feelings so they know they're not crazy and they're not alone. I can help them laugh and play when they forget how. I am finally starting to feel like my age, in a good way. I feel very emotionally secure. I trust myself.
I'm good at bringing women together. It's something I feel driven to do. It's important to me that we all keep each other sane and make time to laugh. I probably have a few random callings in life, and friendships are one of those things that gives my life meaning. It just does.
Oh also I did yoga and drank enough water today! Whoa nelly look at me, behaving like I love myself and congratulating myself for it. I've been doing a lot of meditations on the divine feminine and immersing my mind in Goddess history and it has been so empowering and helpful to view myself as a reflection of that. If the divine lives in me, I should honor and respect myself fully... Am I making any sense? I'm starting to fall asleep. Goodnight universe.
11:36 p.m. - 2020-02-29