On second thought, being EVERYONE's emotional support is starting to get old. The workaholics lost their emotional crutch so they've all gone nuts. The extroverts have been digging their fingernails in me since day one. The emotional addicts, love addicts, horny men, alcoholics, and stoners without weed, have all reached a fever pitch. I'm getting too many texts, too many messages, too many calls. I'm starting to feel like a crisis hotline.
Even some generally reasonable souls on social media are really in their egos, resorting to blame and judgment which helps no one. Even criticising self care? Uh, okay, suffer instead then I guess? Sorry if using my time wisely is offensive to you? Yikes. For the last time, emotional vomit is what DIARIES are for, not social media. At this point, I think facebook is only desirable to people who love drama. I always regret when I log on. Every time.
How few have a clue how to behave like adults, or how to handle themselves publicly. It's like no one can think beyond their own fleeting infantile shrieks to think of how it may affect the greater community. Emotional contagion is powerful. I've been so concerned with morale, walking a social media tightrope so as to share resources yet avoid sounding preachy, to not complain unless I can make people laugh. You know, like, basic emotional maturity.
Anyway, since now I'VE spent three paragraphs complaining, I see that it's time to put everyone else's dramas on pause and go back to my regularly scheduled me time to recharge my patience. Healthy boundaries, folks. It's not my job to hold the world together. All I am required to do is quarantine. So that's what I'll do.
Happy memories:
swimming. the feeling of body temperature water vibrating against my arms as I push myself forward. it's a tiny bliss.
Today's affirmation:
I can give myself 6 foot emotional distance from humans whenever I need a break.
Today I will focus on shifting my pattern of:
feeling obligated to drop everything to respond to negative or needy texts/calls.
I am grateful for:
my physical and mental health, this diary, and for being in a city that took pandemic precautions seriously from day one, and that I was mentally and physically prepared very early on (even if no one at the time took my opinion seriously that the same thing that happened elsewhere would happen here but did anyone listen nooooooooo lol.
The person I am becoming will experience more:
ever-growing inner power, inner peace, and bountiful humor
I have an opportunity to be my future self today when I:
listen when my mood tells me to put my phone down and put it on nightmode
When I think about who I am becoming I feel:
thankful.
7:57 a.m. - 2020-03-27