Every morning I love to sit with my coffee and study history and learn. But now a man-beast sits beside me and I have to hear him chew loudly like a cow while he stares at his phone. He also doesn't know how to read silently. He interrupts me so frequently that I now have to re-read paragraphs 10 times each. I guess he thinks that whatever I am reading is not as important as whatever he has to say. After struggling awhile to focus through all the noise and interruptions, finally I put on headphones and sat on the other side of the room taking deep breaths, exiled in my own home until he finished eating. When he finally finished I asked if next time he can eat at the table instead of on my reading couch. This is my sacred learning couch. I need it for my sanity. I am trying really hard to help this person but it's really really difficult sharing my small space with him sometimes. But he has no other options right now, so I'm stuck with the situation for as long as I have empathy. I hate it, but I'm doing the best I can to suffer gracefully so this idiot doesn't die out on the streets. I definitely understand why I used weed so much to tolerate annoyances before. I hope I can continue to manage without it now.
Happy memories:
weeks of solitude and total silence with no interuptions
Today's affirmation:
I can ask for space or silence because this is my house.
Today I will focus on shifting my pattern of:
letting annoyance simmer silently instead of making myself clear
I am grateful for:
freedom, nature, caffeine
The person I am becoming will experience more:
acceptance --or clear spoken boundaries
I accomplished:
meditated, journaled, yoga
I have an opportunity to be my future self today when I:
bake oatmeal or make rice pudding
When I think about who I am becoming I feel:
hopefully less tired
12:13 p.m. - 2020-08-05