I dreamed I was doing historically accurate artistic renderings of ancient high priestesses clothing for educational purposes.
For several days I have had a migraine on one side between my eye and nose.
I am still preferring living alone and having minimal social communication, which is wild. Yesterday Alcoholic #2 asked, "Miss me yet?"
I *somewhat* miss doing *some* of the things we did together. I'm just healthier when men aren't around trying to constantly put their dicks in me, or receive my emotional labor. This migraine might even be due to all their notifications via text/calls/farcebook/ig/whatsapp... Its annoying and stresses me out and I feel bad replying "no" every day. I feel like a soccer goalie against a whole team of energetic men who are intently focused on kicking their ball into my net. I am constantly put on the defensive and I hate that about being a woman. I want to be covered in spikes and swords so that any man who wants to run up can go ahead and impale himself.I'm pretty sure my dream about swimming in a sea of snakes represented all the risks and dangers I'm cautiously maneuvering around lately. Why does it feel like everyone wants to get inside my apartment or take up my time, yet all I want is to vibe out alone in peace. It's a repetitive theme this year in particular. I gotta get better at ignoring it I guess.
Today I am grateful for:
liquids, coffee, silence, pets, my new beautiful furniture arrangement, that i've found interests that motivate me after such a long dark period of feeling burned out, scents and colors, meditation, pleasant memories, trees, plants, simple little things, safety, isolation, my dedication to repairing my broken parts, music, ancestors, dreams, Goddess, being a woman, even though it comes with a lot of bullshit in this backward culture, but I truly believe the pendulum is beginning to swing the other way and our societal consciousness is shifting. We are at battle, ladies and allies. Stay smart.
9:38 a.m. - 2020-09-01