All of this is because I opened my laptop during a movie, in my own home. Using the netflix which I bought for him. That's what his entire tantrum was about. He left of his own free will. He made that decision and it isn't my fault so why should I let him make me feel bad? Am I honestly going to accept blame and guilt for HIS tantrums? Also, what the fuck was that about?
A few hours earlier while we were hiking in the forest, he was extremely agitated by a woman who was talking far away in the distance. He complained at length about her, and I found his complaints to be more disturbing than the woman herself. It seemed a little much to me. He was so preoccupied with his anger at the random woman that he didn't notice how beautiful the trees were being, or that a dragonfly had landed on a rock in front of him. Fun company.
He did a similar thing when i brought him along for a curbside pickup, where he got excessively angry at a female employee for leaving my trunk open, and he started swearing and it startled me because I wasn't bothered by that at all and it's my car anyway. His reaction seemed way over the top.
He also used to do this when I actually had a chance at a good job, unfortunately he was living with me and picking fights every morning right before work until I finally had to quit the job because I was such a wreck every morning. I've canceled so many good things to accommodate his moods. What do I have to show for that?
No, I think it's safer to be alone. Men are insane and my feelings never matter, not that men let me express them anyway. I am so tired. I was supposed to see my dad tomorrow but clearly I'm going to spend tomorrow crying instead.
Now the person who is angry, is me. And for what? Over this idiot? Really?
5:06 a.m. - 2020-10-10