Today I meal prepped three meals to last about a week each. I froze two thirds of it because I want to continue my cooking binge so I have tons of variety to prevent food boredom. When I'm unmotivated to cook, I browse pinterest for inspiration, which until this year I didn't realize is the perfect place for meal planning and organizing recipes. Stay-at-home moms and dads across the nation were already hip to this for ages, but it's a recent discovery for me that has helped me survive pandemic isolation on a full stomach. Anyway I was productive today so that felt nice.
A few days ago the Alcoholic texted lots of sorrowful "i love you"s and "i miss you"s and called repeatedly after I'd fallen asleep, but, surprise surprise, as soon as we started texting and talking for a couple days and I was feeling almost comfortable, he vanished yet again, to the surprise of absolutely no one. The city is on lockdown, everything is closed and he doesn't have a job, so it remains a mystery why he's suddenly too busy to operate a phone.
I should just start using his clothes for cute diy projects. I can make one of those shirts with cut fringe. Upcycle a cute mini dress... Lol. At least when I'm immature I'm creative about it. I'm constructive AND funny.
Meanwhile, all other men on the planet are lonely and horny as fuck right now. S asked if I'd like to get together this week adding that he'll get tested. Yesterday R insisted on a socially distanced get together which I also declined. And Sober Guy has been trying basically every week since pandemic started.
I should start like, a swear jar concept for every time a man annoys me. So that every time I'm triggered or disappointed I'll do one small thing that will add up to something incredible over a long period of time. Like, sew one patch onto a quilt each time until I have an epic masterpiece to sell for millions. Or complete a new song or a new painting. Any specific goal that I can put just a little work toward, both to comfort me in the moment, and so that I'll at least have something tangible to show for all the bullshit I absorb. Then instead of feeling burned, it's fuel. Another nickel to add to my bank. It's like keeping score, but in a way that is actually constructive rather than resentful, and benefits me in the end.
9:45 p.m. - 2020-12-05