Ordering groceries. It's weirdly quiet out. It's been that way lately. Maybe everyone else sleeps till noon.
I feel mildly weird. My brain wants to veer toward the negative, but I remind myself that my experience depends on what I choose to focus on and how I spend my time, and that everything is temporary, and when a door closes a window opens, and nothing ever really disappears because everything comes back in a different form, etc...
The youngins on social media still seem to be looking for fights to pick with others over the most mundane uncontroversial topics, or put people down in a childish tone because they know it'll get someone riled up enough to lash out so they can act enraged that anyone would argue with them despite their communication style that was obviously confrontation-seeking in the first place, as if by arguing online they're saving the world somehow, by proving how stupid someone is. Isn't it enough to know they're stupid without needing to make a telenovela about it? There are more constructive uses for our time... I already wasted a paragraph of my life here and I already regret it.
[Unnecessary paragraph break.] It's the norm now to behave like an adolescent. People can be reactive about just about anything. My ex and I have a joke where we just text each other angry emojis back and forth all day, especially about things that don't illicit rage at all, like a sleeping cat, which I also "thumbs down" because it's amusing and 2021 and 'haha' the world is so upside down you can easily trigger someone by pretty much just existing at this point. At least that's how it feels. I guess I'm triggered too because it's all so childish to witness that sometimes I want to go live on the moon and never come back.
I'm so glad I don't have kids!!!
Ok gratitude list time! Today I'm grateful for:
childlessness <3
animal children
the total silence all day so far!
dance, which always makes me feel better
books, which always make me feel more interested in life
meditation, which prevents ptsd night terrors
spring
grocery delivery from my favorite co-op
mature adults
happy memories
self care
roof over my head & good food to eat
12:20 p.m. - 2021-03-07