Spent the last couple days eating a lot, making art, cuddling, watching rain fall in the forest, meditating, sexing. I haven't logged onto social media or read the news. Avoiding violent movies/tv too. Can't stomach hearing any shouting. I want nothing but healthy, loving, feel-good, peace and calm.
I discovered that I am allergic to figs, at least a specific variety. First time I ever had an allergic reaction to food that I know of, and I never had trouble with figs before. Probably stress related. My tongue got all tingly and red as if I'd eaten a habanero, and I felt nauseous and weird for a few hours.
It feels like life has become a never ending game of dodging, avoiding, and running away from aggression. It isn't hard to abandon people, but it's sad how often I need to? Must I walk through life always carrying a shield to protect myself from others' poor self control and rage projections? I guess that's just the way life is? People break and want to break others. Where do they find the energy. I'm too tired to even do my dishes! They could harness all that angry energy and fix the whole world with it if they wanted. While I nap, after my 3rd coffee.
This year we are going balls out for Dia de los Muertos. All the usual events have been canceled, so we're planning to get majorly festive at home. I'm looking forward to it. We'll have traditional hot chocolate and banana leaf tamales, and I might try to make some papel picado or papier mache decor. Our altar is gonna be bomb. We're aiming to be as true to pre-colonial traditions as we can. It'll be therapeutic.
Grateful for my ability to heal myself. Grateful for art making and hugs and comfort and the silliness that saves me all the time. I love stress relief via laughter.
I seem to have rediscovered my libido lately. I feel about sex the same way I feel about crying. It's not something I always feel like doing, but I usually feel better after I do, especially if it's in the arms of someone I love.
11:57 a.m. - 2021-10-22