M was here for me this time though. He knows everything and he was there the day I found out and stayed with me during the worst of it. I cried in his lap every 10 minutes. He held me and let me talk it all out. He watched me hyperventilate, shaking, gasping through tears for three days straight, and never left my side. This is the same guy who usually stomps out the door -- or even out of a moving vehicle, if I cry. But this time, he surprised me by showing compassion. He cooked every meal and even did the dishes while I just sobbed most the time. I thanked him profusely. I usually have to be so stoic in his presence because he's so easily agitated. But this time I didn't feel alone. I think that's why the crying has mostly stopped, because he allowed me to get it all out, when I really, really needed it. "It's okay to cry," he said. I'm grateful he was here when it really mattered.
He now understands the depth of my emotions, the strength of my conscience. He witnessed my pain and sat with it. He's given me room to grieve without judgment.
So, sometimes men surprise me in positive ways too...
2:14 p.m. - 2022-11-04