I'm grateful I wore a mask to the party, because the majority who didn't mask, got covid. I don't get why people still act all surprised when this happens, but I masked and feel fine, so I don't regret going. I'll test in a few days to be sure.
The mushrooms weren't strong enough to induce a trip or a high, but I have felt content and peaceful since taking them. My goal was to use mushrooms to assist in the grieving process, to let go of regrets and guilt and ultimately accept R's destiny, and accept death as part of the cycle of nature. So far I feel it helped. I really do feel better. My furrowed brow has smoothed over. My face no longer tense. My thoughts no longer obsessive or ruminating. Grief is there, but it feels manageable. Things happened the way they were meant to. This is the end of one cycle and the beginning of another. Death is spiritual transformation, for the dead as well as for the living. It's just birth in reverse. I was his soul's last earthly desire before leaving his body. I'm glad we united just before he departed. It meant something for both of us, and I don't feel it was the last time ever our souls will meet. Energy doesn't die, it just evolves. We all do.
Reconnecting with my city community this weekend was super meaningful too. It was good to get my head out of my hometown and to celebrate the living community I have here. I felt lucky to be invited into such a dynamic talented creative musical performing arts community. Legends were there. These are the kinds of things I could not have experienced in my hometown. I feel honored to even have been present, to have a seat at that table, to be a recognized member of the community, even after years of distance. Music heals. Dancing heals. I'm still alive and grateful to have a voice that sings, limbs that dance, ears that hear, eyes that see, and arms that hug! I am grateful for health.
4:22 p.m. - 2022-11-16