I went on my rooftop a few times this week. I have falcons!
Somehow I'm much quicker at playing harp by ear than when I was a kid on piano. I can easily improvise along with any song I never heard before -- I didn't know I could do that?!
People are also surprised by my painting. I get a kick out of people's reactions. People treat me like a fool until they see my art, then I'm suddenly the Virgin Mary. Maybe it's time to be an artist again.
I danced a little, hula hooped on my bungee trampoline, did a flip on my circus rings, stretched on my yoga wheel.
Grateful a few friends texted nice things, and I was invited to a birthday. The last birthday I attended felt strange and resulted in mass disease, so I might sit this one out, but I'm glad for the invitation, and the "miss you." Miss you more.
Also had sex and cuddles for the first time since november. I'd have preferred if the week wasn't punctuated by him drinking and lying about it and putting my life at risk, but at least all the days prior were good and he was very helpful and fun company. I guess being alone is still the more attractive and safer option for me.
Maybe sobriety made me uptight but I love not being lied to. I'm also tired of needing to block out-of-control adults every few months. Adults. It's depressing.
Every peer-reviewed study found post-covid brains have reduced grey matter. Psychopathy is associated with decreased grey matter. Lack of empathy is tied to less grey matter. People with narcissistic personality disorder have less grey matter. Alcohol reduces grey matter. Social media reduces grey matter. The less grey matter, the lower one's IQ.
Exercise, reading and meditation increase grey matter. Mushrooms increase grey matter. Cures are widely available and free.
If anyone needs me I'll be in my bathtub reading and meditating on mushrooms, dreaming of a better world that I don't have to routinely cut myself off from just to stay sane and healthy.
- 2023-03-25