He is back in town. It's a simple question: Just yes or no. My tentative inner answer is no. Of course there is that tiny voice that wants yes instead.
Is there such thing as morality? Or are we animals who will die and be forgotten and nothing will matter in the end? I don't know. I've become too much of an ethical relativist.
There are two voices in my head, one named 'yes,' and the other named 'no.' Yes tells me I'm only leaning toward no because I am afraid of enjoying yes. It tells me that if I deprive myself of yes, I will become my mother.
No tells me I'm a sensible woman who has too much to lose. "Put down the dice and play it safe!" it says, like some cheesy anti drug commercial. "Your head is clear. Your life is good. Keep it that way."
Then yes immediately flies back with, "You have only one life, maidelah. When opportunity knocks, answer the door and see where it takes you. Go and live!"
"You might have regrets," says no. "Remember how you cried?"
"But which will I regret more? Having done it or not having done it?" I ask.
Silence.
No gets the last word. "You don't have to do it, maidelah."
1:37 p.m. - 2006-08-02