I've been seeing him for about a month and last night was our first weird evening. I was going down on him because he wanted to cum a second time. I was exhausted but I obliged.
I didn't mind when he started physically directing me the way he wanted it, but I was deliberately NOT doing what he wanted because I didn't want to. He didn't pick up on that, and then said, "you know you can _______..." It was the lack of intuition and the tone of his voice that rubbed me wrong. Wrong enough that I stopped completely and turned away from him and didn't respond when he asked me questions.
Also, I don't fucking want a finger up my ass. I just don't. I keep pushing his hand away but he keeps doing it. When I push his head away when he's trying to go down on me, that means fucking STOP.
It is depressing because otherwise he's pretty lovely in all other aspects of relationship. Come to think of it though, I've never really felt fully sexually compatible with anyone. I've liked some things and hated other things, but no matter how much I may like sleeping with someone, theres always one or two things I just despise about the way they do things. I'm sort of anti-sex lately, because I just find it so disappointing compared with my vibrator, and my vibrator knows how to stfu and never makes me do anything that makes me uneasy.
Maybe I should quit sex and see what he says. I don't really care if he breaks up with me. He's a good person but I like being single.
2:20 p.m. - 2012-09-04