I've been realizing how much better my life is now that I rarely talk to men and muted most of them on social media. It has removed mountains of stress from my life in which I can live for myself without interruption. I've been ... happy!
This isn't really related but I remember my mom saying she sacrificed herself to serve my dad.
It wasn't as obvious to me as a kid, but she was little more than a house pet or slave who worked without pay, a ghost of the house, having lost supportive community to be a wife and raise children. It made her depressed and crazy and she lost everything as a result and currently lives in a motel 6 in the middle of nowhere and says she never wants to marry or date again. I just wish she would have realized that sooner. It's weird to say but I know her life would have been better if she hadn't gotten stuck raising men's babies, none of whom stuck around, even though the men are the ones who told her to keep the pregnancies, and persuaded her to marry when she didn't want to. She kept her end of the bargain. The men didn't.
I'd like women to stop martyring themselves for any reason, except perhaps to end the patriarchy or kill the rapists who cause them to require abortions.
I've had to unlearn unhealthy romantic inclinations myself. It's hard when literally the entire culture is set up to worship men, from religion to politics... It may get worse before it gets better but I believe the patriarchy is ultimately coming to an end.
My dad remarried a younger immigrant who cleans and cooks for him every day AND works. That said, she's not as emotionally passive or romantic as my mom. She primarily cares about money. She won't end up like my mom, unless she pisses my dad off. I think all my dad cares about is that she's pretty and it feels good for his ego. I feel like theres some old fashioned sexism going on there but its their life. He's been semi smuggling inheritance-y things my way without his wife's knowledge, as if knowing she would take everything if she could...
I love both my parents and don't mind his wife but I'd be thrilled to not end up like any of them.
1:12 p.m. - 2019-06-19