Maybe i'll go back to school and add a PhD to my collection. It's not a bad use of my time and I miss learning.
I'm really tired. I think I suffer from a lack of passion. Or burnout from too much passion. Or I'm just another empath feeling everyone else's feelings because it seems like everyone is depressed and I'm just one of the brave souls who would rather deal with it than take pharmaceuticals. And I'm one of the luckier ones I suppose.
It's a weird time to be a creative in the city. Like everyone else, I want to run away, but where? I've been weighing all the possibilities for months but I still feel lost. I used to belong here so much. I still do, in my specific circles. But it's just too much these days. I want to hide out in the trees, but astrologically those zones aren't an improvement. I want everything perfect and maybe that's my problem. I want everything, like goddamned Veruca Salt except I'm nice and won't fight for anything.
I think I need to give myself a mental vacation from all my worries this week. YES. Okay then. From this moment forth, I will only do things and think about pleasant things that bring me joy and satisfaction, even if they seem pointless. Just for one week, and then I'll get back to work at devising a longer term plan. I dislike of the term "self care" but that's what is needed right now.
1:09 p.m. - 2019-09-22