Now a different man-child is demanding my time so I can give him "advice", but demands to speak on the phone, instead of respecting my request to use text or voice recording. I don't know how I could have been any more direct, yet he "just wants to hear my voice." Boo hoo. Today he messaged again, more aggressively: "Do I have to make an appointment?"
He's one of the people in my life who only messages me when he needs something, and I suspect what he needs is a place to stay, because he's done this to me before, and whatever it is sounds like it's pretty urgent. I haven't seen this person in years. Even in quarantine I need to keep shaking these dudes off my tit? This man is my dad's age btw.
I'll take half the credit, for clearly I've been too nice in the past. Apparently I need to just always wear a shirt that says "NO" so I don't need to waste half my life saying it every time a man needs me to rescue him, or go to his house during a pandemic to suck his dick so he's not lonely. Yeah no thanks bro!
That reminds me of the time I once responded with "no, thanks" to a date invitation from a guy I never even met who then got super psycho and blew up my phone lecturing me about how me feeling sick was no excuse to respond to his text an hour after he sent it and what a bitch I am to say no when he's so nice. (Yeah...really nice...) I blocked him immediately but recently he found me again (years later) and sent a friend request so I blocked him again. So creepy!
Today I am grateful for:
- excellent security where I live
- enough traumatic experiences with men and restraining orders to have learned to be really good at avoiding 99% of men at all times
- mostly disappearing off social media partially for the aforementioned concerns
- blissful solitude
- the painting I was able to do today without any interruptions ! finally
- the good cry I had earlier that I needed
- just having my own small safe private sanctuary is something i am so grateful for every day
- freshly shampooed and conditioned hair
- a full stomach
- physical comfort, like blankets, pillows, scents, lotions, tea, etc.
4:29 p.m. - 2020-08-28