I've been debating whether to block the angry dude I short-term dated then stopped seeing in november.
We saw each other most weekends for a couple months. He said he loved me way too early and kept pushing for me to move in with him. I told him it was way too soon for any of that. He always wanted me to visit him 80 miles away but refused to visit me so I stopped visiting him in december, but kept communication lines open so we talked sporadically. Eventually he started showing up in my city, uninvited, but by then covid had started and I wasn't interested in meeting up anymore. He's a raging alcoholic and I don't see anything long term with him unless it's very casual and at a safe distance or perhaps just friends.
Every other time he messages me he picks arbitrary fights out of thin air, probably while drunk, and even though I don't let myself get suckered into participating in his arguments, the after effects of his wacky temper bothers me for days afterward that I spend ignoring his messages that are beginning to teeter on abusive. He adds stress to my life that I don't need.
Each time he acts this way I block one form of communication. First I blocked his phone number. The second time I blocked him on facebook. Now all that is left is instagram where I have him muted. If I tell him I don't want to talk to him anymore he might retaliate or show up at my house which he already threatened if I don't respond to his messages.
I'm hesitant to take any action or say anything because he is so emotionally volatile. If he could just be chill we'd be cool. But he's insecure, drunk, rigid, and emotionally immature, so I don't think it's possible to salvage the good parts, as the negatives now outweigh the benefits.
My options are to silently block him without any explanation and hope he gets the hint. Or I can tell him that talking to him is detrimental to my health and that our time has come to an official end -- even though we never were in an official relationship, although he acts as if we are. Or, I can continue the slow fade as I've been attempting to do all year, but seeing as how he is buying me gifts and sending packages to my house, I don't think it's working. He doesn't listen when I say no, and my aloofness only seems to make him desire me more.
It's dangerous for a woman to tell a man she's not interested. It's dangerous for women to date. This has been going on since last year! I wish I had never given him my address.
No matter how I choose to resolve this, I'm putting myself at huge risk. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life in fear. Maybe ghosting is the safest bet in this situation. Maybe I can ghost without blocking? I'll probably still periodically read his incendiary messages and be upset by them from time to time. Whereas if I block him I can quickly forget about the whole thing and be done with it. I know that if I try communicating to him about anything he will use a combination of gaslighting and emotionally manipulate me into continuing the dialogue so that the pattern can continue. And my fear of hurting his feelings in any dialogue will ensure I'll be stuck with his antics forever if I don't block all contact. Sigh, why do men have to be like this. Don't they realize they're only pushing me away and guaranteeing themselves a life without sex?
9:18 a.m. - 2020-09-21