I quit weed again, I think. It stopped helping and I'm getting annoyed at having a foggy mind. Anyway, I should save whats left in case of election stress or male bullshit or whatever else might piss me off in the future.
I meditated before bed but couldn't sleep because of a weird rattling noise that turned out to be my lamp vibrating from some sort of construction or whatever is causing a low hum outside tonight. Probably just the sound of my walls saying: ommmmmmmmmmm...
I thought I wanted a romantic rendezvous as a brief break from solitude, but then I realized that every man I know is disappointing and would probably either give me a yeast infection or hangover I don't need and probably can't make me orgasm anyway. Shrug.
I actually felt better today though, kind of. My appetite came back. Talked on the phone a lot. Didn't even check the news. I'm bored and deeply tired, but still stubbornly alive. Neutral day I guess. Neutral is okay.
11:10 p.m. - 2020-10-24