I postponed the date because I decided it's better to suffer alone than suffer a man right now. I don't need human touch that badly, it's fine.
I am reading a study about narcissism in order to know who to avoid, and not surprisingly, male narcissists were found to have more exploitive and entitlement behaviors than women. Yet another good reason to date women. The study also found that narcissists are more likely to be extroverts, more likely to drop out of school or skip class, more likely to be impulsive, promiscuous, and seek short term sexual gratification, more likely to likely to be attractive and make a good first impression, and tended to be more disagreeable and swear more. Other studies observed that narcissists tended to have a charming smile, self-assured body movements, upright body posture, expensive clothes and a neat and tidy appearance.
I like to think I have a charming smile and tidy appearance. I'm a creative person who knows how to dress my body flatteringly and I like to express style as an outer extension of my soul, but I think that gets fetishized when it's mainly just a creative outlet for me. Playing dress up is fun and every day is halloween, and as a feminist I refuse to hate myself or my body, so. I guess I'm okay with being just a pinch narcissistic there. My body is my canvas and style is an art form and not meant to exploit anyone OKAY.
Anyways, lol. In order not to fall prey to exploitive narcissists, I'll be placing myself in higher education contexts more and avoiding impulsive promiscuous attractive extroverts with good posture...
Today I'm grateful for sunlight, coffee, music, self love, pets, arts, waking up early, warm baths, books, and resilience.
7:14 a.m. - 2020-11-02