I dreamed I was in Indonesia, running through labyrinthine hallways with many doors, attempting to catch up with my mom, who was flying fast through the halls, but every time I'd almost caught up with her she'd slip into an unmarked door. I kept yelling for her but she didn't seem to hear me. After many hallways and doorways and running down several flights of stairs, I finally found her, under an outdoor tent with some man. I said I had two cats upstairs that needed a ride home in her car. She agreed but I wasn't sure for how long she'd be reliable so I ran back upstairs as efficiently as I could. When I reached the hallway of doors again, I hoped I'd remember which door led to her, because all the doors looked almost the same. I walked down the halls calling the name of my cat and found my ex who was also looking for his cat. But hundreds of other cats were wandering the halls, so we kept calling, until finally we found them. Then, holding our cats, we went back to find my mom. We ran through the halls and I ran full speed down the stairs but my ex just stopped at the top of the stairs and stood totally still and became unreactive. Then I was calling his name, desperately trying to get him to complete this impossible mission of getting cats, mom, and ex, all together in a car to go home. Literally like herding cats.
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I think its relevant that I had to go down several flights of stairs to be heard by my mom. And that my ex wouldn't go with me on a deeper level, or, on a journey that is mine to travel alone. The realms under the earth where my mom was found are not his path, and maybe it's pointless for me too. But I was so focused on trying to make it all work and save everyone that I didn't see the wisdom in stopping and recalibrating for other solutions that might not entail chasing an iffy crazy woman into some architectural underworld, who didn't seem particularly concerned about helping me to begin with.
It's almost like a role reversed variation of the Persephone legend, except I was Mother Demeter searching for her in the underworld, and she didn't seem interested in being rescued.
8:37 a.m. - 2020-12-17