Went on a nice hike the other day.
Been thinking a lot about dissociative disorder and how only 2% of humans have it and yet I know at least two close friend humans who were diagnosed with it. How is that possible? And the more I read about it attempting to understand it, the more I wonder if one or two of my exes had it too, because they had the same childhood traumas and a similar way of completely changing personalities very suddenly without warning. When I talked about my friends' dissociative symptoms, the Alcoholic said he thinks he does the same thing. He was aware of it. So why do I seem to be at the epicenter of a little dissociative community? Trauma bonds? I don't know. I have a lot of very mentally healthy friends too, but, it does seem like I attach myself on a deep level to a handful of deeply traumatized souls. Is it because I am deeply traumatized too? Probably. But they must have it much worse if they have multiple personalities and self harm scars and no memory of entire events. My memory is so sharp I can't imagine being any other way. I want to talk with my psychologist friend about it, but she doesn't know our mutual friends have this diagnosis and I think I should keep it confidential. They never told me to keep it a secret, but if I was them I'd probably prefer not to be gossiped about, so, I won't.
I'm going to go sit in a hot bathtub and chill for a bit and forget all these thoughts. I have a new book to escape into. Or maybe I'll take a nap...
2:43 p.m. - 2021-03-06