M forgot to put his mask up on the elevator and I had so much anxiety about it. Weed helped. Went for a walk at the freezing cold beach. Then left and tried to play badminton but it started to rain. Free car wash!
A couple blocks from my apartment he pointed out a line of people around the block. The ones wearing black he said are drug dealers. The "fucked up looking ones" were the ones waiting in line for drugs. The dealers keep the drugs in their pants or "in their balls." I don't ask why he knows these things. He lives there, in the worst block in the city. I think he enjoys staying with me because my place is a small oasis on the edge of the ghetto where he can fully relax and not have to always look over his shoulder. And he can take long baths. And enjoy my incredible company of course. ;)
He cooked amazing chicken soup for us, and amazing grilled pepper jack bacon avocado arugula sandwiches, and lamb, and these elaborate bowls of egg atop lentils and rice and whatever else he finds in my cupboards. It's good having someone here who cooks so well. I also baked breakfast for us to last a week, my trademark baked steel cut oats casserole thing with cherries and blueberries and bulgarian yogurt, so we start every day out right.
He even agreed to do a salsa class with me! I made it as fun as possible for him. I turned all the lights off except my multicolor flashing light to mimic a nightclub and faced opposite any mirrors so he wouldn't feel insecure. As we practiced I took layers of clothes off until I was pretty much naked, which he enjoyed. He's not a bad dancer but he had a terrible teacher in childhood who made him feel insecure, but he wants to be able to salsa, and I might be the only person who might be able to push past his mental block and help him to enjoy the process without judging himself. I danced intentionally goofy at times to make sure he wouldn't take it too seriously.
Anyway, gotta go, my soup is getting cold. I hope your winter is going tolerably. Solstice is soon. Can't wait.
12:36 p.m. - 2021-12-15