My dad texted my ex out of nowhere to bring up bad current events and asked him how I am doing, instead of asking me directly.
My guy friend also shared bad news, twice, after I'd texted him with good news which he put a negative spin on. Then he misused the information to be judgy about my friend for not having a fancy enough job, in his unsolicited opinion. His next text was a paragraph about his startup, a "real" job I suppose. I am remembering why I avoid him.
My stomach problems had fully disappeared while left undisturbed by toxic men the last few days, only to flare up again after these texts yesterday. I had been intentionally taking a news break all week to protect my health, but they didn't know that. I'm putting my phone back on do-not-disturb mode today.
Woke myself up yelling several times from a dream in which I asked M to drop off the money he owes me but instead he barged into my house, broke my phone, removed his mask and coughed snot and blood into it over my rodents. I asked if he had covid and he said yes, then mimicked me crying before stomping back out and slamming my door, without paying me back.
Yesterday I did yoga and signed up for live meditation events. I'm grateful for these coping strategies. I'm grateful for my my neighborhood grocery co-op where the delivery people are always friendly and nice. I'm grateful it's friday. Grateful for the incredibly beautiful puzzle game I finally completed that left me feeling aesthetically inspired. Grateful for my pets and plants and bathtub and sunny windows, the usual stuff. I'm grateful to be alone and safe.
I think I'll get back on the dance train today. I need a dose of positivity and the physical distraction would be good for me.
7:57 a.m. - 2022-02-25