Dreamed of R all night. We explored the edges of a rocky island together. He apologetically confided that the reasons for his behavior were because he's insecure. He was sober in my dream.
From now on if I dream that someone dies, I'm not going to keep it a secret from them. I was scared to tell him, but of course now I wish I had. I don't know if I was supposed to or not, or if the dream was mainly there to prepare me from an unavoidable fate. Having intuitive knowledge comes with heavy responsibility. I knew, but I didn't know. Subconsciously I knew, consciously I didn't know. My brain is multi layered, and I am still learning everything it's capable of. Like a new electronic with lots of features and too many buttons and no instruction manual. But I had a vision that I didn't act on, and it came true. Maybe I didn't tell him because I knew it would happen regardless, and didn't want to put the thought in his mind. He was ocd. He might have worried and obsessed if I'd told him. I mean who tells someone they're going to die in two years? I wanted him to enjoy life while he was here. That's why I didn't scold him about his choices. He did what he wanted. He took the risks he wanted to take. I can't look backward. I need to appreciate the present moment for what it is.
I'm grateful I dreamed of him finally. It was good to see him.
8:08 a.m. - 2022-12-14