All weekend I kept hearing loud explosions. Then I realized ohhh it's lunar new year!
Year of the rabbit is supposed to be a yin (feminine) year, as opposed to the "masculine" energy of the tiger. The past year did feel like I was mauled by an aggressive tiger a few times, so I love the idea that this lunar year will bring gentler introspective energy, which is more my speed.
The days are getting just a little bit longer and brighter each day and I want to plant new seeds but can't decide what to plant, and figuring out how to cat-proof things is always a challenge here. I have two enormous heavy pots that need something substantial in them. It might be fun to do something completely frivolous, like flower bulbs.
I get wild ideas sometimes, like, what if I raise butterflies in my apartment and let them fly around freely? It's a short life cycle though, so if I don't release them into the wild soon enough I could end up with a bunch of dead butterflies eventually. It would require lots of research and I'd worry my cat would harass them. It's cool to imagine a home full of magical fluttering butterflies though. I'm always thinking of weird ways to entertain myself like that.
The Great Flood seems to be over. It's been bright and sunny. I'm trying to be very kind to myself, to give myself everything relationships failed to provide. All I want is safety and stability, so it's easier to provide that to myself than expect someone to be on the same page as me emotionally. I never again want a life of romantic drama. I just want to do my own thing now. It seems to be working well for me. My energy level has already increased back to baseline and I no longer feel like I'm running on empty. As the grief settles with time I'm sure it will become even easier.
One by one the home improvement projects are being slowly completed. My habitat is a reflection of my inner world. I'm pleased with what I've accomplished so far. It's getting there!
9:58 a.m. - 2023-01-22