Is it weird that I don't miss M... Like at all.
Apparently he's been out of my life for two months already and I can't say I've thought of him much. I miss R every day. When I do reflect about M, my reflections are: 'wow he was not a good match.' If I'm being generous.
I'm not necessarily happy that a decade long relationship is dead, but it feels right. I have no hope left for his alcoholism and I no longer think it's worth it. We had our time. Seasons change. Now it is time for a decade in which I am the center of my life, instead of someone else taking up all the oxygen in the room and leaving none for me.
This undemanding love
that our staggered births
have purchased for us —
You in your generation,
I in mine.
I am not the one
you are looking for.
You are not the one
I've stopped looking for.
How sweetly time
disposes of us
as we go arm in arm
over the Bridge of Detail:
Your turn to chop.
My turn to cook.
Your turn to die for love.
My turn to resurrect.
— Leonard Cohen
3:05 p.m. - 2023-01-25