Maybe I still love my husband. I don't know about sexually, but he may be the only male alive that I have relatively positive thoughts for, as a human being. And he just responded to something so terribly wittily and made me laugh really hard. I guess sometimes we're on the same page, in that same strange way as before. Being with someone for nearly ten years will do that I suppose. I wouldn't know exactly what category to put him in, or even myself in, but despite his awkwardness and some utterly stupid errors between us, I still see a lot of good in him. And I don't believe any man besides my father has ever loved me that much or that long. So that probably counts for something. He's a decent and trustworthy guy. Rare qualities that almost might make up for the other traits he lacks, which are perhaps less important to me anyway, overall. I've actually felt something for his soul in the past few days. Fuck gender, fuck looks or sex. It's bigger than all that. It's something in his soul. That is what I first loved. I remember now. I loved him because his soul was good.
11:53 p.m. - 2012-08-08