How is this fulfilling for me?
Well, it's not. He's seemingly incapable of possessing the empathy of a casual friend or stranger. (Toward me at least.)
An explanation would be wonderful, yet he isn't the communicative type as much as the sarcastic angry type.
I don't know what to do, since, for the billionth time, I had no idea the mess I was getting into when I married him. But a vow is a vow and here I am, idiotic as can be for staying, but again, he is family, there is this problem of oxytocin, and I can't overcome it, I've tried, and my entire body wanted to turn on itself.
Some get angry at others, I get angry at myself.
I can only speak freely to you, with friends, or to our psychotherapist. I am for all intents and purposes, spiritually single and alone. But I wear this ring and wait for my love to return. Please my love, I am hurting so much. Please don't let me wait too long. I am dying inside without you, or the you I thought you were. Was I blind or are you in there somewhere still? I miss you so much, and need someone to talk to when I'm lonely.
Please my love. I am still waiting for you.
5:09 a.m. - 2009-10-04