i fell for it again. tricked again. he woke up with another episode apparently and is abusive all over again. its so emotionally abusive. i am very disappointed in myself for falling for it all over again and being upset by it.
before his sudden ongoing moodswing which hasn't relented for 48 hours, i had the best three day summer weekend i had since last year. why does he have so much power over my emotions?
i feel self pitying and depressed. i am not responding to anyone. I have been crying since yesterday. I have one nug of weed which i am glad i saved in case of just such an emergency but i don't know how much worse it might get and what if i run out?
I feel like I don't even know how to love anymore. All the efforts of good men have been ignored because I can't feel anything and they can't erase my pain.
3:21 p.m. - 2013-08-14