The hard thing about abuse, especially emotional abuse, is that no one sees the abuse happen except you and the abuser. The world only sees your reactions to the abuse, the way it makes you hunch your shoulders and withdraw and become depressed. They only see how your communication becomes scattered and maybe they see how you feel chaotic inside while trying to process wtf just happened. And if you have the courage to speak about it to someone, you feel embarrassed like you have burdened them, and if you must confide more than once you feel like you've ruined your own reputation as someone who used to be fun to hang out with and are a failure at relationships.
It's been a tearful day. May these tears water my soul to grow out of the dirt and blossom once and for all.
Please keep fighting, you're doing so well. It's a bad day and nothing more. You've been through so much. I know it's exhausting but these small steps are leading you closer to freedom from emotional tyranny. Keep going and fight for your survival. It doesn't matter what happened or what anyone did wrong. Stay focused on where we want to go next and we'll be there before we know it. I love you, I'm here for you till death, no matter what, and I will never leave you or allow you to suffer for this long ever again.
10:23 p.m. - 2018-05-23