I'm doing alright I guess. I have a lingering melancholy that comes and goes when I remember certain traumas but its nothing I can't handle and I'm doing damn near everything to continue doing positive things that I love. I was built to withstand sadness and transform it into art forms.
Okay so gratitude-wise, I'm glad I have intelligence and some talents to be able to use. Creativity is a pretty nice skill to have and it seems like I have a lot of it. My life would be so boring without it, I can't even imagine how empty I'd feel if I didn't have that aspect to my personality or the background I have. I'd like to cultivate skills as much as I can, and not ever stop again, no matter what happens in life to throw me off my life path. Art makes me happy and is part of my core identity and that's important, very important, to me, my quality of life, my self worth, my soul...
I'd like to be a little less Sylvia Plath about life and get back into the groove of my inner joy. Apparently nice people are more prone to depression. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, but I have my days. I've accepted some things and gotten better at handling disappointments by choosing to focus on investing more in myself. It'd be so much easier if I had positive people to be around, but most everyone is struggling in different ways right now. Whatever, I'll search harder and dig deeper. I'm going to keep doing whatever it takes to carve a meaningful enjoyable existence, even if I have to do it all alone forever. Because I'll stop breathing one day. So I want to make this life count.
If I fail here I'll try again somewhere else, and I have a plan for that too. There's so little holding me back from changing anything I want. I see many positive possibilities.
I'm also grateful for animals. They're so pure and sweet and make me smile. I may adopt a new furry family member tomorrow...
11:52 p.m. - 2018-06-07