I have this idea.
(If maybe the universe doesn't drag its feet every time I try to do anything... Which actually has more to do with me habitually relying on the wrong people but blaming the universe is easier.)
Anyway I have this idea where I change everything all at once. Since I'm numb from grief anyway, what better moment than now to just commit to being single. And since I have fewer responsibilities now, it's an ideal time to move and also get back into all the creative things that bring me fulfillment.
If I move strategically, I can avoid any more romantic reunions, or at least reduce frequency. Then never again will I have to hear my brain complain about serial suckage because I will have CHANGED. I broke free from shitboys before and looking back I'm soooo glad I escaped when I did because can you imagine if I'd stayed?
*shudder*
There's gray areas here and bits of good but I'd like to hold myself to a higher standard, even if I can't find anyone to be an exceptional human together with. It's ok, friendship is more fun anyway, and so far I haven't met anyone who can make me orgasm like my hand can, or hold intelligent conversation on a wide variety of subjects without relying on memes they saw while scrolling social media. (I really need more book-readers in my life again.)
I'm gonna figure out what to do with this brain and body of mine to minimize harm and live up to my potential. And if some like-minded individuals appear during my journey then cool I guess. I just probably won't fuck them. But they can take me out for soda pop, all wholesome-like. I'm being weird, it must be time to sleep now.
Sweet dreams, stranger.
1:41 a.m. - 2019-09-11