First I had hope. Then I felt like I might just be trading one alcoholic for another. Now I feel like I'm just going to get stuck with two alcoholics.
Then I started thinking about my social circle and exes:
alcoholic. sugar addict. sex addict. love addict. internet addict. coke addict.
Maybe I should move really far away. But then, I'll probably just end up surrounded by new addicts, right? Because this has something to do with my comfort zone and childhood, and using alcohol as a crutch when I have to be social.
But I'm so sick of drinking, and drinkers, and all the addicts. Doesn't anyone do anything healthy anymore? I'd really like to just do normal things like I used to, with people. Like hike and make art and have good conversations. Anyone know any normal people like that?
Being surrounded by so many addicts is not good for me. I'm too tired to even think anymore.
Tomorrow, if I have any remaining energy, I'm going to clean all his pee off my toilet and sanitize everything. Hopefully he'll be at the hospital treating his alcohol-induced urinary infection so I'll have some alone time.
I think I need to go back to quitting men again. They're useless needy drunks. They don't please me sexually. They're way more trouble than they're worth and I always have to clean up after them or explain obvious things. I gave it another brief try but nah. Men are a joke! How insecure the women must be who trap themselves with men in marriage or with kids. No thanks, I'm good. I'll opt out of the circus please.
12:42 a.m. - 2019-10-31