He tattooed my nickname for him on his wrist because me leaving him nearly killed him, and inspired major change. Did he love me under all that fuckboy machismo???!
He started going blind in one eye and had severe headaches and had to be hospitalized for high blood pressure. He was on so many medications, most of which could be eliminated if he quit cocaine and alcohol, etc. So he quit everything. And he was celibate! I'm definitely taking credit for this.
How strange to see him sober. I never imagined.
I assume I'll see him again. I guess I've changed too, and some of the things that used to hurt me don't have the same power over me anymore. Or maybe this was just a retrograde tryst. But given his voicemails before, I think not. I know very well I may not be the only one. But I think I'm the most important, in his soul. Maybe that's enough?
I understand him better now, because I've acted similarly, and there's always more beneath the surface. I see that clearly in him.
This was an apology that means something.
Then I had lunch with on/off who said I have a perfect personality. I'm not sure about that, but it was nice.
7:35 p.m. - 2019-11-21