Not sure whether to take a depression day, or caffeinate and drag myself to spend the weekend with boy #3.
I won't cum anyway. It's more just a distraction. To have doors opened for me and cuddle. To half pretend it's love. Maybe it's a type of love. But nothing compared to the intensity I've felt before.
But now all I can think about is the sober one. Who doesn't open doors. Who doesn't get half my jokes. But...
Men are very distracting. I haven't danced or made art. They occupy way too much of my brain. It's very annoying and probably unhealthy. But then again, so is moping around alone in my apartment for the rest of my life.
I wonder if I'll ever be happy again. For longer than a passing moment. I wonder if I'll ever be able to cum with anyone other than the on/off alcoholic !!!
Am I wrong to wish for something better than any of the men in my life? Why do I feel so meh about everyone right now?
Brb, gonna feel sorry for myself while staring at the ceiling until food delivery arrives. Maybe soup will make it better.
2:18 p.m. - 2019-11-22