Meditated, talked with my dad, and did some psych reading about unhappy people, and it clarified things. I know I'm turning into a broken record but this quarantine is a rare opportunity for me to discern who is helpful to my growth, as well as who might be negative influences who just want someone to be miserable with them. A few loved ones and I used to be depressed together, but I seem to have found my way out of the cycle, and now that I'm out I have no interest in going backward into old habits that contributed to holding me back. It sucks to distance myself from people I love, but my happiness and mental health depends on it. If they ever find their way out of the darkness, I'll be out here in the sun ready to join them.
Gratitude list bonus round! I'm grateful for: plants, seeds, spring, sun, warmth, animals, silence, music, health, food, cooking, apartment, city, state, life, experience, meditation, yoga, vitamins, chocolate, coffee, green tea, sewing, clothes, washed hair, shampoo, conditioner, safety, sanctuary, ancestors, ancient goddesses, archaeology, art, history, light, candles, incense, oils, herbs, taste buds, physical sensations, eyesight, smells, sounds, birds, breeze, in-unit laundry hell yeah, fabrics, metallic things, beautiful things, antiques, nature, divine feminine potential, humor, wisdom, words, flowers, dirt, perfume, smiles, laughs, kindness, sky, earth, water, masks, crafts, pottery, painting, textiles, jewelry, hobbies, interests, travel memories, little things like peeling open a mandarin, or eating sliced mango, or a cup of tea.
4:56 p.m. - 2020-04-24