i was direct with the alcoholic and said i'll only be checking my phone once a day in the morning from now on, in case he finds a job and needs something for work. boundaries are needed because too many people have been emotionally dumping on me too much and too often. therapists make bank for this. i do not. and if i were to continue being everyone's therapist, i might end up in the crazy house myself. i also find that all these one-way therapy sessions leave me craving to get high afterward to escape the horrible feelings that linger after listening to certain people's dramas. but instead i chose yoga, and after a night filled with stress-dreams, i decided boundaries are an ethical solution.
my dream btw, was that we were boarding a plane but the alcoholic had not packed in advance and left me to sort through his baggage while the plane was taking off. a stewardess told me to take a seat and i explained that my boyfriend already took his seat, leaving me to pack all his carry-ons, in addition to my own baggage. funny that in my dream he had a LOT more baggage than me, disordered paraphanalia strewn across the floor of the plane like an episode of hoarders. we had left in a rush so i had left behind all of my most treasured clothes and belongings, while he had brought a plethora of junk that couldn't possibly fit into carry-on baggage, yet i was trying to make it fit. the metaphors are obvious.
Happy memories:
the shade of oaks in the summers of my childhood, and the way they smell. oaks were always my sanctuary. a very large old one guarded my house as a kid and it was the sacred burial ground for loved pets. ah wise old oaks, how i miss you...
Today's affirmation:
i am peace.
Today I will focus on shifting my pattern of:
being overly available. its better for my mental health to check my phone only once a day
I am grateful for:
the golden milk spice coffee blend i am going to make today to save time, my dreams for always guiding me in the right direction, boundaries
The person I am becoming will experience more:
connection to my physical body and nutrition
I accomplished:
meditated, journaled, yoga'd, boundary'd
I have an opportunity to be my future self today when I:
relax into the flow of existence
When I think about who I am becoming I feel:
grounded
9:00 a.m. - 2020-09-03