I think I never want sex with him because he grabs me SO much. Every time he grabs my ass I can feel my sexual desire magically vanish. We've talked about it. So many times. We have a new agreement to both ask for consent before grabbing at each other, with the exception of when we are hugging or having sex. A few days into the agreement he's becoming forgetful, but I think he is trying, and the constant annoying grabbiness has lessened a little bit. That doesn't make it any less excruciatingly annoying when he forgets or make me feel any less violated and pissed off on a regular basis. I hate it so much that I usually need long periods of time apart from him in between his minor but frequent violations. But it's a pandemic and I don't want him to be homeless so I guess it's just one of those relationship annoyances I'll have to deal with until he finds a job and a place, or until I kick him out.
It's nice having him here in some ways. But I'll probably feel relieved whenever he finally leaves.
Off to meditate...
12:52 a.m. - 2020-10-06