My immature text yesterday actually prompted communication and allowed me to air my grievances finally, so I feel better. His whole life is shit right now but he has an appointment with a (free) therapist this week, so that is excellent news. He's not the type to care but he validated my fear of going out alone. "Don't go out," he said. All the businesses are boarded up. Tons of people living in tents. He's sharing a room with no windows the size of my bathroom with his friend who drinks every night and yells at his wife on the phone. But soon he'll receive some money from an organization to cover rent and keep him alive until inauguration. Fauci claims we might have a vaccine by spring and things could return to normal by summer at the earliest. So if we all can hang in there by then, we'll be alright. Until then, my city is a third world country.
I dreamed I was watching killer whales in the ocean, marveling at their large tails. Porpoises and manatees briefly came out of the water for me to pet them. My rodent fell into the ocean and sank and I panicked and yelled for my ex to save her, but she surprised me by swimming up for air and then diving back down on purpose. It only looked bad, but despite her tiny size, she had it under control. Metaphors!
Also I'm going to keep at this affirmations and gratitude thing every day until it starts to bleed into my reality.
TODAY I AM PRACTICING: allowing myself to laugh and move my body
I AM GRATEFUL FOR:
1. communication.
2. noise canceling headphones.
3. warm blankets.
TODAY I AM: glad for a new day and new chance to be better at self care
CHANGE IN THIS AREA ALLOWS ME TO FEEL: lighter in spirit
TODAY I AM PRACTICING WHEN: i do yoga and seek out comedy to reduce stress.
8:51 a.m. - 2020-11-12