Every time I talk to men I privately think to myself, "Where is the rest of you?" Am I the only one who gets the sense that most men are ... lacking something? And too often desperately trying to compensate for their insecurity by frequent gaslighting / combativeness / denying womens reality? There's a few women like that too, but so rarely.
I must be really really gay because I truly don't understand the allure of men. They're less attractive and quite gross and sweaty and hairy and arrogant while simultaneously less competent at life. They seem to struggle with recognizing cause and effect, or empathizing for others. As women we have to waste our time explaining obvious things to them all the time about the female experience... Yet they expect us to be totally emotionless hairless sex robots who they can exploit and fulfill all their needs with. Even the "good ones" just seem kind of empty and lacking depth. At best, you can find a moody one and try to delude yourself into believing that's depth. But then you're basically just dealing with an overgrown toddler having mantrums over things women are expected to deal with regularly.
To be already attached to a man who flung himself at you at a time when you were once sad or lonely or bored enough to accept the invitation, that I understand. But to intentionally seek out a man? Why?
I guess we're all looking for different things. Maybe sometimes it's enough to settle for a talking dildo, sometimes any warm body to snuggle will suffice in the moment, maybe it's okay sometimes if there's no one else currently available to talk to, or maybe we just need someone to split the rent with or act as a bodyguard to shield us from worse men. Sometimes it's even refreshing to spend time with someone really dull and one dimensional. Sure why not.
A male friend was recently describing women as being able to turn their sex drive off at whim and I had to explain to him that sex has far more risks for women than for men. Stds, pregnancy, bv and yeast infections, not to mention that the most dangerous place for a women statistically is in her own home, because men so often turn violent. And of course, rape, and many other forms of control and abuse. It's kind of not in womens best interest when we do the math. To even need to explain this to him was tiring. Imagine being in a relationship with that 24/7.
I play nice with men and enjoy casual conversations and laugh with them and all. But it always leaves me with a vague feeling of ... "Is that all?" They're boring. Women have dimension and intensity, not a barbaric intensity, but a passionate intensity. Women care. Women love. Women are strong and don't need to hide behind false confidence. Women are magic. I can't believe how unbelievably underestimated women are, and how tolerantly and patiently we behave when forced to interact with men, who forever seem to me like children.
2:08 p.m. - 2020-11-29