The Alcoholic heard me cry last night, and I'm glad he had to hear it, because he never usually sticks around long enough to see the results of his actions. And then he ignored me. Like a literal psychopath. Just like old times. Taking turns blocking each other is fulfilling and all (not) but I just want to get his crap out of my apartment and it seems like communicating with him about it is just not possible. So, I guess I'll just have to deal with whatever guilt or blame arises after I throw away the rest of it. I tried. I tried for months. I bent backward and forward for this person, was patient, waited, listened to every excuse, every broken promise. I've absorbed enough of his consequences. I've lived with so little love or respect for so long I must be superhuman.
I think I should go back to rotating narcissists like I did before. That way they're free to stonewall and ghost to their little hearts' content, and if I want company I simply agree to let the next one have a go, until he does the same, and they can run their childish little circles around me like musical chairs, and then they're the ones who decide when the music stops. It's beating them at their own game, takes away their power over me, and everyone's happy. They always come running back eventually, and then the choice is mine.
1:56 p.m. - 2020-12-29