My ex gave me a massage, and it reminded me how bad the Alcoholic is at massages, as if he's intentionally trying to hurt you. He also does a weird thing where apparently he thinks it would feel good to half-assedly push only on one side instead of pushing with symmetrical weight. Worst masseuse in the world.
He also slaps my ass excessively hard during sex and does all kinds of weird things so I feel like we're wrestling constantly and not in a fun way, in an annoying way. Like he'll unintentionally smash my head into my neck while ramming into me because he doesn't give a shit how I feel or isn't paying attention to the fact that I am a person. And he wants to choke me during sex and I don't trust him to do that because the man can't even figure out how to give a basic massage. He's been okay at sex sometimes but it requires constantly reminding him and saying ouch a lot and asking him to stop or slow down or be a little gentler. And sometimes I've just stopped altogether halfway through because he just wasn't getting it. I'm always genuinely afraid he's going to seriously injure me.
9:01 p.m. - 2020-12-29