I'm deliberating back and forth about moving and changing my mind just about every hour, so I'm going to start checking in with myself here to sort out my fears and desires and to try to feel more confident in my decision one way or the other.
Practicality aside, at present I'm feeling excited about customizing my space, painting, designing a garden... I have pinterest boards for planning my dream sanctuary. I check the floorplan and imagine the fun of having a brand new blank canvas to play with and disassociate from reality for hours on end and then sit back and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I can rollerskate around the house if I want! I can get a trampoline! I can have wood floors in my bedroom, carpet in the hall, and glossy tile in the kitchen, and luxuriously glide through my house in my kaftan in the quiet peaceful countryside. I can feel seasons again and have glorious hot summers. Imagine my garden! Citrus, figs, pomegranates, olive trees, herbs, and fresh marijuana harvest whenever I want. I can relive my childhood whenever I want and go to my old parks and lakes and reunite with old friends.
It could be really lovely, if I'm willing to drive a little farther to do city things in exchange for a drop dead gorgeous home.
3:46 p.m. - 2021-08-16