Also.
I went to the park to see musician friends. I was glad to get outside and lay in the sun but everything seemed sad to me. People were there and were trying to be normal and fun but there was a certain energy like a depression that I could feel under the celebratory words and music. They were trying but they were also suffering. It was almost sadder to be out than to stay home.
I've been in a low mood myself. A consistent low level depression that probably won't lessen until I have good sex with a human, or a physical embrace, or any normal interaction. But I'm doing my best. My house is very clean, I'm being good about a sleep schedule, and I'm staying on top of cooking and eating. I don't exercise enough but I meditate and practice mindful breathing. So I'm alright. Grumpy, but alright.
2:47 p.m. - 2021-08-23