After some discussion we decided to hang out after all. We hiked twice this week, two days in a row, despite blah weather.
In the forest we saw a gang of vultures ripping apart a deer's guts. The deer's leg flopped up in the air every time the vulture pulled at it's guts. A few hours later, the last remaining vulture physically dragged the full grown dead deer across the ground, all by itself.
The next night we went to the city park and walked around the ferris wheel with blinky lights, up to the stage between giant columns at the museum. Then sat down by the other museum to drink my thermos mexican hot chocolate with cayenne and cinnamon that I made. Then we walked to the other museum that was playing music and doing a light show on the outside of the building. Everyone's dogs had little raver light collars in the dark. A large group of dancers practiced swing dancing on the sidewalk.
I love seeing people continue to enjoy life -- without costing others' lives. I feel very lucky to be here.
I got a free food delivery gift card so we ordered from a good restaurant nearby and had a food orgasm. We have high standards for food, having been spoiled by the diverse restaurant scene, but this order was perfection. The flavors were perfectly balanced, the fats, acid and salt in precisely the right combination, everything handmade, soft, delicious. Probably the best meal I've ever had in my entire life.
We had sex twice again, before and after the food. I slept very well and slept in late too. My cat snuggled inside my warm blanket with me until I finally rolled out of bed, sleepy but satisfied.
Sad thoughts still come and go but I am paying less attention to them, focusing more on the things that make me feel good instead.
I'm grateful for midweek hikes and food and all the physical comforts.
I'm also grateful for vr games which we've both begun to really enjoy escaping into throughout the days. Fujii became my favorite game this month because my inner child loves the beautiful explorations and it feels like a safe peaceful world to relax in. It's the complete opposite of the high speed combat games that seem so popular.
[It weirds me out how many games are for people who fantasize about war. I don't mind shooting games with a supernatural theme, but I don't have a military fantasy, at all. But that's probably because my grandpa saw the a-bomb off the coast of Japan, and had to repair his best friend's face after it was blown up. I don't think war was "fun" for him, and I think he would have thought war simulation games are sick and naive and glorifying violence and death. People spend the rest of their lives with ptsd for these kinds of things, drugged and unable to sleep for the rest of their lives from these traumas, so it's weird to see such a vast number of games about military combat. Someone gets off on this shit.]
I, on the other hand, am shopping for a new game similar to Fujii that won't further traumatize my inner child or train me to murder. I don't have a thirst to kill, but I do like games where I get to discover or unlock new beautiful environments and have pleasant experiences, perhaps solving puzzles here and there. Games that make me feel actually better after playing. Maybe I'd like an rpg? I don't know. I'm new to this gaming stuff. It's a totally new world for me. I'm surprised to have developed a liking for it at all, but 3d makes it fun. I like it more than going to an arcade, except for skee ball, which I miss...
12:01 p.m. - 2021-11-11