I dreamed a man held a gun to my head and made demands. I gave him my credit card but nothing else. He instructed me to drive to another location to meet some other man who would take more from me. I left and hid in a cafe awhile, deciding to risk retribution by not following orders, hoping to quietly disappear in a crowd.
Next I dreamed I was in my old childhood house. The house was mostly empty now. My mom was alone downstairs, eerily living in the desolation, seeing nothing strange about it, not noticing how everyone else had packed and left years ago. I tried talking to her about something but I felt uncomfortable being there with her and decided to leave.
I went upstairs to my bedroom to collect what little remained. My great great grandma's garnet ring fell behind my dresser so I moved it away from the wall, picked her ring up off the floor and put it on my finger. I took the rest of my rings and put them on the rest of my fingers. I picked up a poster that was lying in the middle of the floor and uncurled it to see an image of a syringe. I put it back down and left it there.
I walked over to the window and looked longingly at the roof I used to lay on at night to see the stars while talking to my friends on my rotary phone that I'd decorated with stickers and glitter nail polish. But the roof outside had changed. The wooden eaves had been flattened to house a large cage. The first green grass of the season blanketed the view outside. It was so beautiful. I was sad to say goodbye to it, but I knew I couldn't stay.
In real life my ex told my dad I was traumatized by his yelling. My dad replied "It's probably because of her mom."
He is blaming my mom for HIS actions? He takes no responsibility for himself. Ugh.
9:12 a.m. - 2021-11-21