I kept my promise to myself and did yoga today. A longer session than usual, so now my whole body feels like I just returned from a spa massage. I added extra fresh fruit to my oat/nut/fruit blend this morning too. It's so much easier to be healthy when I'm alone for some reason. No distractions, no emotional upsets. Just peace. I can think straight and sleep better.
The more I research about alcoholics, the more I understand how hard they are to get rid of once you meet one. They always push boundaries, and it is a disease of lying.
I didn't consider why other people drank when I started drinking on weekends in my 30s (late start) to "put myself out there" and start dating again. I thought everyone drank to dance and be more extroverted. I didn't know any alcoholics before that. I was naive.
Now I see that people drink for very different reasons than I did when I went dancing with friends, or to soothe nerves on a first date. It can be a maladaptive way to self-medicate more serious mental health issues. Who knew. So how can you tell which people at a social event are maladaptive alcoholics and which are just social drinkers? You can't!!!
58% of adult men drank in the last 30 days, so I'm more likely to meet a drinker than a non-drinker. The number is much lower for women. And 21% of men are heavy binge drinkers, compared with only 13% of women. The odds are not in my favor, if I date men.
And I'm lazy about dating. I don't do dating apps. I'm avoidant. I dread sex unless I'm 1000% comfortable and most humans aren't patient enough to wait until I'm ready. I'm scared of men, since the times I trusted men I was raped, drugged, abused and deceived, so I'm unlikely to respond to messages from strange men, and am not keen on placing myself at risk by being alone with a new man.
Statistically we're all more likely to end up with alcoholics than not. Does this mean that statically there are more "codependent" women for every alcoholic male? My guy friend thinks so, because of course, he's a guy. But I don't think it works that way. I don't think we can blame alcoholism on sober women...
I've only met one man in my entire life who who doesn't drink, but I had to block him for accusing me of witchcraft. Lol. 80% of American men are circumcised, so I will not have sex with 80% of men. I'm pretty bad at math but if 80% of men are sexually useless, and 58% are drinkers, then... my dating pool is only 11.6%, but it's actually less than that, because I'd rather date someone my own age. Which shrinks eligible bachelors to around 2 percent of men. Also, 1 in 3 men fantasize about cheating or cheat. Which leaves only 0.66% of men. And no guarantee I'll even like their personality or find them attractive. I didn't even factor in mental illness, kids, health, finances... I'm more likely to win the lottery. Better to give up on men and continue focusing on myself!
2:41 p.m. - 2022-11-28