I had a very sweet conversation with my dad.
He said he gave up on humanity, I laughed and said we're definitely related. He sounded better than ever. His mind was sharper than people younger than me. He was quick-witted. And wise.
He's putting solar panels on his roof, connected to a generator so he'll always have power in one room without needing to rely on the grid. He's become very interested in simplifying life, self-sufficient off-grid living, in tune with nature. He's always leaned this way, but now he's shamelessly blossoming into it.
All his problems, he said, are from technology or people, but nature is peace. In nature, he can think clearly.
I am so related to this man.
He dreams, researches, then makes it happen.
He's into cooking on smooth rocks, neanderthal-style. I love his quiet form of rebellion against modern society.
He's building a wood-framed sunroom around his patio with his bare hands. Knowing him, it's going to look incredible.
In previous years he began to express regret about his humble nature-oriented-career, because it didn't make money. He had lost pride and passion. But now he said he realizes this was the perfect profession for him, aligned with his values, meaningful, more important than money. YES!!!
He quoted my high school AP english teacher who said: "Don't grow up to make widgets." He was ahead of his time.
I said I feel lucky for the way he raised me, that our religion was NATURE. It was perfect for me, to freely roam the hills, immersed in the seasons and cycles of life. My best memories were working with him outdoors, the smells of freshly sawed wood, dirt, leaves, everything he taught me about plants and wildlife: Sacred. I thanked him, because I've noticed that not everyone was given this. I see it in people who want everything now now now, who didn't cultivate patience learned from growing a seed in darkness, watering it, waiting, then sprouting in spring, in its own time. Good things don't happen overnight.
My intuition was cultivated there. So many people suffer from detachment from themselves, spending a lifetime erasing strict religious programming and relearning everything to find themselves. I feel lucky that I was raised in harmony with nature, not fighting against it, nor denying it, because this is how we learn to treat ourselves. WE are nature. We have to honor our inner cycles and seasons too.
He thanked me for saying that, because as a parent he worried about the things he couldn't give me. Like meaningless material shit. Nope. I needed exactly what he gave me.
I told him I stopped by a nursery last week, because it's a second home to me. I didn't buy anything, but walked around, identifying plant names to test my memory, enjoying the scents of spring. And was rewarded by finding two baby birds in a birds nest fern. Now I know why it's called that!
Lastly he shared a cute story I never knew before about how my grandparents met:
He said Papa worked at a small corner store on my nana's childhood street. When my dad was a kid, Papa would embarrass Nana at dinners by saying 'Remember when you were 15 and you came to my store every week and would say 'I have two pennies, what candy do you have for me?' (She had a crush on him! How cute!!!) He gave her candy for two pennies every week for two years, they fell in love, and the rest is history. If not for penny candies, I wouldn't exist!
sunday - 2023-04-09