It could just be that the moon is nearly full and my period is due soon, but there are officially too many men in my life and their constant aggressive neediness is driving me batty! I'm flattered they think I'm some kind of oracle with all the answers to all their problems but, dude. Enough. There's therapy for that. Get a blog! Get a cat! Get a cannabis card or something. Just because I'm a woman doesn't make me your mother! Tell it to your real mom!
One of many of the males in question is my very dear friend's ex. Oh lord. Every day, many times a day, this ex texts me to let me know he is going insane without her. This part didn't bother me so much. I have empathy for heartbreak. Then he asked me to persuade her. That's coercion, and I don't persuade people who are perfectly capable of making their own decisions. But I brushed it off thinking well, he's heartbroken and desperate, it's human and forgivable. I started to understand why he drove her to end things when he repeatedly talked about how she needs to compromise. No sir, she does not need to do anything for you because you do not own her. Do not tell her she needs to compromise WHO SHE IS for you. You do not own her, she is not a pet, she is a free spirit, and hopefully, always will retain that quality that makes her who she is and who I love so much. If she does change, it will be because it was her choice, not something that was forced on her by a man! Or me or anyone at all!
I let him know very gently and kindly that she genuinely loves him, and if only he might be able to accept her for the reality of who she really is, they would certainly have a future. Alas, this poor boy can't grasp this. She must change for him, but he's unwilling to change his judgments on her? What? Oh the unrealistic expectations of men...
I know his poor heart is breaking but hers is too, because the one she loves wants her to be someone she is not, and that is hardly love at all. I like the guy, but he obviously doesn't have a clue who he was dating. I can understand now why she left such a "nice" guy. Self preservation. She has the dignity not to sacrifice who she is for his narrow view of what a relationship should look like.
And all this time she intuitively acted out, while not fully consciously aware of why she was doing it. He has made her believe that it's because she is self destructive or unhealthy. Not so. She is being free and acting free, like free independent women should. Sorry chap but she's not the trainable little lap dog you hoped she was. And you know what else? I'm proud of her. I'm proud of her for whatever she does and whatever she chooses, even if she goes back to him. I'm proud of any decision she makes with her own brain, because she has one of those, and I, for one, am never going to try and change any part of it. I like her very much the way she is and however she chooses to be, thankyouverymuchgooddaysir!
3:07 a.m. - 2015-08-26